Should Seniors Make New Year’s Resolutions?
The Case For and Against Setting Goals Later in Life
Consider the scene: you’re 80+ years old and the post-Christmas excitement has finally dwindled down. Decorations are coming down, guests and family have all returned home, and blessed routine is now the order of the day.
But wait. Calls for celebrating the New Year are everywhere: the clean slate, the chance to start anew, the opportunity to improve, to reinvent, to reach new milestones.
But do seniors really consider it a priority to ‘better yourself’ when they’ve rung in over eight decades of New Years?
Does the introspection at this stage in life bring with it emotional contentment and peace or angst and regret?
And does looking for ways to ‘improve’ serve as a healthy motivation or a bothersome burden?
In all likelihood, for seniors, especially those in the care of professional caregivers, the answer largely depends on how these resolutions are approached, how they’re managed and measured, and what underlying purpose they serve.
Like all New Year’s resolutions, crafting and creating intentional goals and hopes is highly personal and, especially for senior adults, needs to be gently nuanced for the realities of their life as it is now. Constraints such as physical, mental, and emotional limitations should all be factored into deciding whether to move forward with resolutions or not. It is also important to keep in mind that, whichever path is chosen, it should be fully respected and supported by those within the individual’s circle of influence.
To set the goals or not: you can make a solid case for either side. Below are several reasons why seniors might consider setting a few achievable goals and several reasons why they might justifiably take the ‘been there, done that’ approach and take a hard pass on adding any extra challenges to their life.
Keep in mind, the best aspect of either case is that neither is permanent, neither is limited, and decisions to pursue new intentions aren’t limited to only the start of a new year. Pursuits and intentions can begin on any given Wednesday just as likewise, they can be abandoned on any given Monday. This, in a nutshell, is one of the glorious gifts of becoming ‘of a certain age.’
Why Seniors Might Consider New Year’s Resolutions
Because it’s generally assumed that setting goals helps support health and longevity, the impact of even the most minimalistic goals such as walking 10 minutes a day or drinking a bit more water than in the past can have a surprisingly positive impact on general well-being. There’s also the mental boost and personal satisfaction that comes from reaching a daily, weekly, or monthly goal.
Resolutions give direction. Having a sense of purpose can play a major role in the fight against depression, cognitive decline, and loneliness. For most senior adults, there is usually a shift in purpose later in life. Whereas much of their first 60+ years were likely achievement-driven and others-focused in careers and family life, seniors who do best in their later years work to intentionally focus more on contribution, connection, and living meaningfully. For those able, showing up as a volunteer or mentoring others can benefit everyone involved and sets the expectation to be somewhere for someone at a designated time: a huge boost to providing purpose.
For individuals with limited abilities and personal options (where to go, what to do, who to go with), resolutions to engage in a different manner can provide a bit of daily purpose. This is especially helpful for highly limited individuals whose days run seemingly one into another with little differentiation. Monday might as well be Friday or Sunday when everyday looks the same as the dozen before it. But simple challenges such as joining a book club, committing to calling one friend a week, or learning a new skill or hobby provide an opportunity to learn, socialize, or create and can be extremely fulfilling and offer a whole new way to find purpose.
Completing small things can provide a significant confidence boost. It’s highly likely that by the time someone reaches their seventies and beyond, they’ve accomplished a fair amount of personal victories. Maybe they were married a lengthy amount of time or they raised and/or helped provide for a family, or maybe they were solidly independent their entire life until recently. Whatever their life was like before the inevitabilities of age took hold, there were undoubtedly goals reached and milestones accomplished. Completing low-risk tasks that provide opportunities for enrichment is a terrific way to foster a renewed feeling of capability and independence reminiscent of years gone by.
So, enough consideration as to the reasons why it can be beneficial for seniors to pursue New Year’s (or anytime) goals. Let’s look at why seniors might consider not setting New Year’s resolutions.
Why Seniors Might Consider Not Setting New Year’s Resolutions
Resolutions can sometimes feel like pressure. Unwanted pressure. Life in the later years can oftentimes have enough demands without adding any other self-imposed pressures. Financial concerns, frequently increasing (and ever-changing) health challenges, and/or maneuvering the stages of grief can all be significant factors in the daily life of an elderly person. Decades of pursuing a career, caring for others, or simply balancing the many, many responsibilities of a full life can take a toll. Understandably, many senior adults are relieved to be past these concerns and want little to do with any more burdensome ‘have-to’ tasks.
Traditional resolutions may not fit this season of life. Think about the usual suspects in terms of New Year’s Eve resolutions: to lose weight, get organized, exercise more, or save money. Consider whether these concerns really matter to someone in their eighth decade. For most elderly people, these common resolutions simply don’t fit this stage of their life or they’re no longer a priority. When goals such as these are so completely out of sync with an individual’s life stage, pursuing them can seem futile and set the stage for disappointment and frustration, ultimately bringing no benefit or causing resentment.
Resolutions may reflect others’ expectations, not their own. Let’s face it: families often mean well, but comments such as, “You should exercise more,” “You should get out more,” or “You should get rid of some of this clutter,” usually just serve to frustrate, if not outright offend the older adults they are directed towards. No one wants to pursue goals set by others and certainly not those ‘suggested’ by people they raised for 20 years.
A Possible Third Option
The whole ‘all or nothing,’ ‘succeed or fail’ mindset so many of us have come to approach a new year with is oftentimes too restricting or too unforgiving to hold much attractiveness for seniors. Self-improvement (or at the very least, maintenance) may be appealing but presenting it in a kinder, gentler, more gracious manner may be just the right approach for friends and family in their later years. Instead of an all-in commitment with little to no consideration for the realities of aging, experts now suggest greeting a new year, new month, or new day with a shift from rigid resolutions to flexible intentions and gentle commitments.
Suggestions such as, “I will move more,” “I will look for opportunities to encourage,” or “I will work to nurture friendships,” are much more fluid and present no discernable marker of failure. Loosely held intentions can serve as gentle reminders and present opportunities for success when efforts are made versus indictments of failure when ‘have-to’ lists are not complete.
As we’ve stressed, there’s obviously no right or wrong option when seniors are considering whether to greet a new year with goals at the ready or not. It’s a decision they’ve earned the right to make for themselves: if, when, and how. The key is to decide what is empowering to them, what allows for dignity in their lives, and what contributes to daily satisfaction and joy. At the very least, the reward for a lifetime of living and making it to our senior years should bring with it the delight in deciding what brings joy to our lives yet to be lived.
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